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Tomorrow, my partner, my youngest and I will be traveling to London.
Just for a few days. Just to give her a hug and to live in her world.
She is doing her internship overthere. For 6 months. Working hard, studying and enjoying daily life in this amazing city.

Her TCK life.

Her growing up in 2 countries other then what her passport says, she had to adjust. Big time. Languages, values, traditions, unwritten social laws……….
We took her from her place of birth into the big world when she was 20 months old. Sometimes I felt like I was being a cruel parent, but in fact, I was not. She gained life experiences no-one could ever take away from her. She formed them into who she is today, this amazing brave woman.
She took the train “home” (700KM) on her own, when she was 15 so she could be with relatives for a week. She flew “home” (16.000KM) on her own to be with her classmates, friends and (surrogate) family for 6 months. She can switch language and preferred cultural behavior when needed, in a blink. It is normal in her world.


For now, officially, she lives in the country her passport tells her she belongs. She studies at University in English cause that seems to be her mother tongue. Eventhough this I not the language she hears around her at “home” and is not spoken in this country.
At times, she speaks sentences with words made up from 3 different languages, but at “home” we all understand. We do get where she is coming from and how her “third culture” is made up.

Her choice for London was easy. “Mum, I do not need to learn another language for now. I don’t feel to challenge myself personally, at the moment. I do not crave another life experience.
I just want to practice what I learn at Uni, so I will stay close to “home”
this time.”

I see her and speak to her nearly every day. FaceTime and Whatsapp are very good like that. She texts me when she arrives safely at wherever she is going or calls me while having breakfast or when something is bothering her.


For me, visiting her is not about wanting to know if she is alright. She is.
Visiting her is about giving her a hug and seeing the siblings having a great time together. Eating together, maybe not even talking as much but just literally being in each others presence is enough.
For her our visit means giving her a sense of homecoming. The country, the culture, the language doesn’t matter for a few days.
Home for her is about being tall (dutch genes) without feeling different. When mixing languages up while speaking, not to explain yourself.
For the upcoming days, she is home cause family is around, and that is all that matters in the end. No explaining to do, no feelings of being different. That is home.

Vanwege drukte, neem ik tijdelijk geen nieuwe werkzaamheden aan. Hierbij verwijs ik u naar overige (emigratie)coaches of uw huisarts om mee in gesprek te gaan over uw hulpvraag.

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